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Let me explain …

August 13, 2009

Yesterday someone pointed out to me that I tend to over- explain things. Now, I’m not sure if she was providing constructive criticism in hopes that I might learn to “get to the point” in future discussions, but I do know this: She was irritated by me. I don’t like to irritate people!

Ok, so I can talk. I won’t deny that. And I can go off in tangents while chatting with friends over a glass or wine, but I didn’t realize that my verbal skills needed such polishing. That I was one of THOSE people. You know the ones. Those people who just go on and on and never get to the point. Those people that I loathe talking to because they “over-explain” things, and life is just too short to wait for them to get to the punchline.

So, you can understand that it came as a great surprise to me that I was in the company of THOSE people. And honestly, I’m wasn’t sure how to move forward, past that comment. I was initially offended — ok, really offended — and didn’t take it well. Apparantly I don’t take criticisim well, either. It got me thinking, which is a dangerous thing. (Am I over-explaining this?) And in thinking about that comment, I was able to pull up several other qualities about myself that I didn’t care for too much: I don’t exercise enough, I don’t volunteer anywhere, I am impatient with people … Oh, and now, add to the list, I tend to wallow in self-pity!

The point of my story? Yes, I’m getting there. I really “over-reacted” to the “over-explaining” comment. In life there are people who will say things to you that will hurt. It’s likely, even, that what they are saying is the absolute truth, and it may even help you in some way in your life, but the question will always be “Did they really have to say it?”

It’s so much easier for us to point out negative things about others. Even if we don’t actually tell them directly, we’re all guilty of pointing out the fatal flaws in our family, friends, and even strangers walking through the airport wearing blue panties under their white pants (ok, yes, someone should tell her).

So, even though I may pull a Tennessee Williams from time-to-time, I can be somewhat entertaining to talk to. And for those of you who couldn’t bring yourself to tell me that I tend to “over-explain” (and I love you for it) — we’ll talk…

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