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I resolve…

December 29, 2009

I think it might have been the 16 oz box of Pot of Gold that put me over the edge, this season. I am declaring myself offiically addicted to chocolate, and I need help. There were signs, over the years, that I had “issues” with chocolate. Buying extra chocolate bunnies at Easter. I told myself it was just a precaution — buying the extra bunny. In case one of the bunnies got damaged on the ride home from Target, I felt safe knowing each of the kids would have a chocolate bunny in their basket. But I knew, everyone knew, it was a lie. Mr. Bunny– and bags of Dove eggs that were on sale every year after Easter — were safely stored behind the old ices cube trays at the back of the freezer.

Well, this year, I am determined to put an end to my insane chocolate obsession. No more chocolate sable cookies, Hershey bars with almonds (king size, of course) for me. I’m not even sure I’ll allow chocolate milk into the house, for fear of a setback. I’m sick, I tell you. Sick. I have gone to great lengths to find and consume chocolate. There is no obstacle that would stop me from polishing off a bag of Kisses or a chocolate sundae. And the madness must end, before someone gets hurt. My clothes are begging me to stop — the zipper on my jeans crying out in agony as I pull and squeeze it together every morning, begging it to cooperate.

I know some try the “everything in moderation” approach, but I’ve tried that. It’s not for me. I tried to take the advice from friends to “just eat one square every day, and you’ll curb your craving.” Yeah, that didn’t work so well. I even put the chocolate far from my reach, but that didn’t work. Almost on the hour, I was dragging the kitchen chair over to the countertop, climbing up, heaving myself across the top of the refrigerator, shoving the bottle of expensive Vodka aside, and yanking out the bar of chocolate.

So, it’s a new year soon, and even though I don’t believe in resolutions, I might just have to make an exception this year. For the good of my health. For the sake of my ever-dwindling wardrobe, I am resolving to stop the obsession with chocolate. On December 31, midnight, of course, right after I celebrate the end of the year with a chocolate martini.

Stay tuned. Who knows what could happen if I am not getting my daily dose. It’s frightening to even imagine.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 29, 2009 2:36 pm

    Oh boy! Being your friend chocolate-less… Frightening! Very!


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