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If you want my opinion…

January 20, 2010

Don’t you love it when someone asks your opinion, when you know deep down all they really want is someone to agree with THEIR opinion? What they are really looking for is a partner in crime, someone to validate their story, and for the most part, they want you to listen and NOT share your personal opinion. Likely, they just want to tell someone something. Good or bad. And they don’t want you to judge or give them advice. They probably already know the direction they are going to take as their decision is already made. But still they watch your reactions, they wait for your opinion, secretly hoping that YOUR opinion matches the expectation they already had (of your opinion) and are deeply disappointed if they are wrong about your opinion.

This one is tough for me, because if you ask my opinion, going to GET my opinon. When you ask me my opinion, I am honored. Truly. That you feel my opinion would matter to your situation, I’m honored. So, I take it seriously. And I’ll be as honest as I can with my opinion, ’cause isn’t that why you’re asking me? I feel it’s my responsibility to listen and offer what you’re asking for – my opinion. But, again, it’s JUST an opinion. And it’s just my opinion. It doesn’t make it right or wrong. It’s what you asked for, after all.

According to, an opinion is “a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty” and “a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.” So there you have it. If you ask my opinion, know that it’s simply a personal vie, based entirely on the facts you provided to me. I will process those facts and present you with my appraisal of your situation.

In my opinion, if you really don’t want my opinion (you can’t handle the truth!), you probably shouldn’t ask. My husband will likely take this opportunity to agree with me. He knows that when I ask his opinion, I really and truly want his opinion (NOT!). He knows better than to provide honest feedback when I ask him if I look “good in these jeans,” but honestly, if I ask for an opinion, I DO truly want feedback. And sometimes (okay, most of the time?), his opinion is dead-on.

If you can find someone to give you an honest opinion (and you CAN handle the truth), you’ll be better for it. But if you don’t want to know? If you really and truly already know all you need to know and have made up your mind to do it anyway? Don’t ask! My mother used to say, “What you don’t know, won’t hurt you.” Uh…not sure I believe that, but hey that’s just my opinion.

what you don't know won't hurt you

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