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Being the bad guy

March 10, 2010

Someone has to be the bad guy, and in our house, my kids will tell you …the bad guy is usually me.

Over the years, there were few occasions when my husband and I disagreed when it came to the kids. We have always had the same expectations of our children, and never disagreed about a parenting decision in front of the kids. But, even though we have always been on the same page, our parenting styles still differ somewhat..which is a nice way of saying “I’m the nag of the family.” I’m the bad guy.

Contrary to what my children think, I don’t LIKE being the bad guy.  Who would? I remember when they were little thinking “Really? I’m so tired of hearing myself talk…”

How did I become the one “reminding” our children to brush their teeth (the dentist made me sign something…), clean their room, take out the trash, feed the dog, finish their homework….etc. etc. etc.  I guess it was inevitable: The Type A personality (impatient, time-conscious) marries Type B personality (easy-going), and by default, I become the bad guy. Someone had to do it, right? How in the world would our children have become educated, respectful human beings today if not for my prompts? In truth, I doubt that some of them would have made it through middle school (yes, you have to shower, people won’t be your friend if you stink) if not for my naggging…but I digress. I’m done with it.

I’m tired of being the bad guy. So last night, after reminding my son (again) to put away the three pieces of clothing that have been hanging on the bannister for more than a week, I quit. I don’t know what the aftermath will be, and it’s likely I won’t be having friends over for quite some time (the clothes are STILL on the bannister this morning), but I quit.

I am tired of being the bad guy. I have decided that after 25 years of parenting, I will be the good guy.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. Kate permalink
    March 10, 2010 1:38 pm

    Let me know how that goes for you. 🙂

  2. March 10, 2010 3:29 pm

    My husband had always been the bad guy. I have been the ‘go to’ person. Now I find that my three daughters come to me with EVERYTHING they don’t want to do. I am so done. And tired. Kids. What were we thinking?

  3. Keisha permalink
    March 10, 2010 3:43 pm

    Wow, you are brave…I am never letting that go…I am sure you will need a few drinks to get by and I am here for you…I expect a call very soon 🙂

  4. Lisa permalink
    March 10, 2010 7:50 pm

    I’m with you. I think so often of that first “book club” book we read so long ago called “A Year by the Sea”.
    Just saying…..what if we left and spent a year by the sea. Would we miss them? Would they miss all the habitual nagging, prompts, reminders, whatever the heck they’re called? Would they miss us? Probly not. (don’t change that spellin’)

    We’re in this together. Forever. I wouldn’t change a thing.

    loveyoulongtime!

  5. March 10, 2010 8:06 pm

    Ah, Lisa, you know me only so well. This quitting business…you know I can’t quit. I’m in it for life. I JUST want to be the good guy more often. I’m fun……lol….just because I insist that they wear coats in the winter, wash their hair every so often, and put their dishes in the dishwasher…THIS makes me NOT the fun one?

  6. Karen permalink
    March 11, 2010 4:09 pm

    I like being Queen Nagger with my kids, now grown kids. Believe me, when they move out and start paying those dental bills, they will be forever thankful for your nagging and not having to get crowns on every tooth. It is imperative for a mother to do what’s best for her family, not just what feels good. So nag away, my friend. Then have a glass of wine.

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